Friday, August 12, 2011

The problem

“I have to be honest.” Honest is good. “I don’t really like your problem.” River goes on to say that with neither of us having an orgasm it seems kind of pointless and mechanical. Even when she doesn’t come herself, she enjoys my orgasms vicariously and gets satisfaction and closure. Maybe that’s why she’s always so amenable to finishing later when I don’t come. It’s good for her, too.

This gives her more insight into why it bothers me that she doesn’t orgasm very often lately. I don’t get to enjoy her orgasm if she doesn’t have one. And I do enjoy them.

I explain that my take on the problem is entirely different. Last night felt really equitable with neither of us coming. It often bothers me that I get to bang away and hold off and prolong the action and then when I come that’s pretty much the end. Except for the afterfuck. She doesn’t get much say on when we finish. I get a nice orgasm and she gets to drip. Although she does get the vicarious enjoyment.

And now that I’ve been on her side of the fence I totally understand the point she’s often made that she doesn’t have to orgasm to enjoy it. Neither do I. We agree that it’s still intimate and bonding.

But I’m worried. Sex being pointless without orgasms is reminding me of her saying that foreplay-type activities are pointless without fucking. That’s part of what precipitated our long dry spell, a year and a half of no sex, and me hardly looking at River’s hot body. Even though I loved her the whole time.

So I talk to her about it. I always do now. I’ve learned my lessons. At least some of them. And she assures me we’ll have a great sex life even while the problem persists. Even without orgasms. And I tell her I want to give her the most amazingly endless fuck in the orgasm she’s ever had.

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