Saturday, September 18, 2010

Thoughts and conversations

"What a strange thing we do." "People overthink sex too much." "Maybe we should be more animaly. Wherever, whenever, whoever." "Sounds good." River has always been down on the whole puritanical thing of sexual repression and the bad it seems to cause society. Not like old societies where everybody lived together and would do it in a communal or family living environment.

"I'm thinking about you standing over me and dropping onto my cock." "You liked that?" "Both times. You have good aim." River never really thinks of things like that. I tell her I was reading somebody wonder how his wife could like sex so much, have screaming orgasms, and then not want to do it for a while. Maybe she wanted to savor it for a week, he thought. And here I am, the one who's savoring it. River likes it when we're doing it but doesn't think about it that much. Sometimes I feel like I want to savor it for a week, then I want to do it after a day or two.

We're at a beach park. It's fairly deserted. No cars in the parking lot. A misty morning. I remember our talk about doing it like animals. Wherever. Whenever. Whoever. We talk about doing it on the beach. If I came down to the beach and some couple was doing it, it wouldn't bother me, I'd be discreet. Pretty much the same with River. Doing it in a crowd, or being a spectacle, doesn't seem like such a good idea, but a misty deserted beach seems ok. We've done it on a beach at night, and at a lake at a campground in daylight. Today the stars have come into a rare alignment. A nice place, deserted, nice temperature, good emotional warmup for both of us. Yet we don't seize the opportunity. Why not? Stupid society. Signs here say no alcohol, no whatever, but not no fucking. So why not?

There's movies. Everybody watches movies. People actually pay good money to see them. And everybody's seen people in movies having sex of various kinds. It's not a big deal. Not real sex, but it looks real enough, and that's what counts. So what's wrong with seeing people have sex in real life? Having sex isn't like taking a crap. That's something you don't tend to see in movies. But you do see sex. And it's perfectly acceptable. We can kiss all we want on the beach, and we do, and we might make some people uncomfortable, we might depress people by being such a happy couple, but we don't care. Why should we or anybody care if we do it on a misty deserted beach?

And people are often not wanting their kids to hear them having sex. So what? Sex isn't shameful. It's not a secret. Mom and dad are attracted to each other. They love each other, I hope. It's why they have kids at all. We've done it with our kids in the same hotel room. They were probably asleep, but if they weren't, they were discreet.

River asks why I want to have sex. The same reasons I want to hold her hand, and hug her, and kiss her, and snuggle naked with her, and rub her back. I think it's strange that's she's ok with all that, never turns it down, but when it gets to sex she'll back off. She says it's like liking chocolate but not wanting to eat it all the time. Maybe we could do five ten-minute sessions instead of one fifty-minute session. I don't think it would be very satisfying though.

I read an article on the net saying missionary is not such a great position, and how vaginal intercourse gets boring quickly. I think it was written by a woman, but I'm not sure. Women tend to rate missionary pretty highly. So do I, but that was a recent revelation. I'm more sure that it was written by a twenty-something. If vaginal intercourse is boring I can only think that the people involved must not be very good at it yet, aren't very creative, aren't very good communicators. Hopefully they'll get better. River looks at a few sites and says there's so much information there's really no excuse for not having creative and satisfying screws.

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