I gotta give this up

I gotta give this up.

In my FAQ it says: Are you going to stop? I’ve been hoping I would just stop some day but it hasn’t happened yet. I’ve thought about stopping on and off for the past year. And today I was thinking and coming to the conclusion that this may be some weird obsessive-compulsive thing I’ve got going on. I have written about every single time River and I have had sex since January 2009. We fuck and it just rattles around in my head and wants to spill out in gorgeous sex scenes that give some insight into what things are like on my side of the action. Hopefully I’ll be ok leaving it all there in my head.

This has been a fun blog. I’ve really enjoyed doing the writing. A lot more than I thought I would. I've worn out many words. I’ve learned a lot about myself. Quite often River and I ended up discussing something that originally surfaced here, whether she knew it or not. And often talking with River would be even better than sex with River. I also learned about writing. I call myself a writer now. How strange.

I’ve enjoyed giving a full frontal view of the sex life of a monogamous hetero couple with kids. Maybe I've inspired people. Maybe I've upset people. Maybe it seems like I’ve created a fictional Reed and River, but I haven’t. We’re real people. We have real sex. Everything I’ve written is true. The quotes are actual quotes. Our relationship is as good as I hope you think it is. We were made for each other, and often marvel at how we ended up together against some pretty long odds.

If I'm guilty of anything, it is not telling the whole truth. I've glossed over many things including my own emotional and physical issues. But this is a blog about fucking, and I tried to stay true to that. Many times I thought I should start another blog, Reed and River are Not Fucking. But it wouldn't be something I'd want a historical record of. I revisit things on this blog periodically. I'm my biggest fan.

I’ve met a few people on the other side of the ether who I’d like to call friends. And I’ve made one serious real-life friend doing this blog. I’ve told her a couple times that maybe the reason I did this blog in the first place was to meet her. It seems entirely possible. Even likely. I would be sad to stop blogging without having fulfilled that (unintentional?) goal.

I’m proud of this blog and will keep it online, probably even filling in the gap from 2009 to 2010 which I’ve written but haven’t posted. My email address will remain viable. Feel free to use it.

I’m proud that River is my sweetie, and that I’m her sweetie.

I thank everybody who left comments. Here are a few of my favorites:

• you just made me so fucking wet, my bf is down stairs, i’m going to get him and make him fuck me hard
  — anonymous. Whether this one is legit or not, who knows. If they had a good fuck, I'm glad I could help.
• I can’t get over “mingling in the crucible of her cunt.” Fantastic.
  — Margot la Ravaudeuse, my high priestess of erotica.
• At last sex how it should be how refreshing!
  — Cleo x. That's me. Refreshing. Even River agrees.
• You write it and I can totally imagine the scene. I love that you share your conversations with us. I can tell how much you love River.
  — My real-life friend, Anisa
• You two are very cute.
  — Natasha. Blush.

And finally, I’m always talking about how hot River is. Her sporty body. Her compact tits. Her cute face. She’s consented for me to post this, her perfect ass:

I tell River about the last line of this post: “I feel strangely free.”