River on random

River is surprisingly on board with the schedule; she’s even put our dates on her calendar and reminded me. As if I’d forget. She appreciates knowing what’s coming up since she’s got a lot of studying and school to fit in. She’s read how I like random, including Natasha’s positive comments on having a schedule.

But I still feel like I’m in charge of sex. Because I’m the one who’s always walking over to her desk, picking up the die, and offering it to her to roll. At least she thinks about it. Occasionally. It briefly crosses my mind to just wait for her get us to roll instead of always doing it myself. But that would be as stupid as waiting for her to initiate. That kind of thing never has a happy ending in a relationship.

So I ask her how it’s going for her. “It’s not good or bad yet. We haven’t done it long enough.” “That sounds better than the old way.” “It does?” “The old way definitely wasn’t working for you. You complained about it.” “I did?” Sometimes I think she does have a twin sister who I’m talking with half the time. “Yes, that’s why we’re trying this new way.” “It’s working for you, breaking the rules.” “It was your suggestion to break the rules.” “It was?” She’s definitely the other sister tonight. “Not those particular times, but in general. When we wanted to.”

Now I’m really not sure what’s going on. I guess we do have to keep on it for a while. But I don’t like the resurrection of me being in charge of sex. So, of course, I talk to her about it, making sure she knows that not being in charge of sex is one of the four things that seem to be contributing to my better mood of late. She’ll try to help share the responsibility.

So tonight we roll again. She makes me roll first. “What are we rolling for?” “Tonight.” Believe it or not it’s too soon since the last time for me. Which is why I waited an extra day or two to roll at all. But what are the odds of rolling a one? Five to one. I'll take those odds. I roll. And it’s a one. “Uh oh. I was hoping that wouldn’t happen.” “You’re not going to roll and get what you get?” “Not this time.” So she rolls for tomorrow morning. A six. Since it’s a morning, that means roll again. Another six. Roll again. Six again. Another roll. And it’s a one. Tomorrow morning.